


Step by Step (Sanders Sides)

by Randomhowlter



Series: Human Sanders Sides AU [1]
Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Human!Sides AU, Implied Prinxiety - Freeform, M/M, Smut, Suicide, Suicide mention, logicality - Freeform, lots of fluff, not any major characters but it is described so trigger/content warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-30
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2019-01-26 22:57:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12568084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Randomhowlter/pseuds/Randomhowlter
Summary: When Logan goes to a coffee shop for a change of pace, he may find a bigger change than he expected to...





	1. Chapter One

Logan had finished teaching for the day, and normally would have office hours in his little room in the psychology department, but he felt slightly claustrophobic today and did not particularly feel like sitting in the tiny office for three hours. He typed a quick email to his class to let them know that office hours were cancelled and he’d hold them tomorrow instead, before making his way to a sunny little coffee shop off campus to work.

Logan ordered a black coffee with sugar and a pumpkin muffin (a guilty pleasure of his that he indulged from time to time; it was just one of those days). He found a table and sat down, plugging earphones in to drown out the busy noises of the shop around him with some calming piano.

After a while, Logan switched to an audiobook, leaning back against the chair and staring into space as he painted the unfolding story in front of him. Any one of these customers could be the culprit. What if it was the barista? He pretended to gasp internally. What if it was himself? Smiling slightly, he hummed a little, enjoying his imagination which he so rarely let out. He continued scanning the shop, analyzing every customer, until his eyes fell on a man standing right in front of him, smiling warmly. Logan quickly sat up and took his headphones out. “My apologies, I didn’t notice you were standing there. How can I help you?” He attempted a small smile to distract from the annoyance he felt at being interrupted.

The man cleared his throat, “I’m sorry to interrupt, but I was wondering if I could sit here and work? All the tables are taken.”

Logan looked around to find that all the tables were indeed taken. He gestured towards the empty chair opposite him, “Be my guest.”

The man sat down, holding out his hand as he did so, “Thank you. My name’s Patton!”

Logan shook his hand, stating simply, “Logan,” before slipping his earphones back in, still trying to deduce the murderer.

Patton pulled out a laptop, beginning to type. They sat in silence for a while, as Logan finished his coffee and identified the culprit. He took out his earphones, preparing to leave, but stopped as Patton pulled out a book and began making notes in it.

Logan froze for a moment before smiling at Patton. “That’s my book.”

Patton glanced at him, confused. “I bought this last week…”

Logan shook his head. “No, I didn’t mean it’s my copy, I mean I wrote it.” He laughed slightly.

Patton’s eyes widened, before he flipped the cover closed and confirmed that the author’s name was indeed Logan. Logan Crane.

“Oooh wouldya look at that!” he exclaimed, “I love your research.”

Logan smiled, unable to help the feeling of happiness at Patton’s enthusiasm. In academia, it wasn’t often that you met a “fan”, in some sense of the word. “Are you a researcher?”

Patton beamed, “No, no, as much as I love to read research, I don’t have the mind for it. I’m a counseling psychologist, actually.”

Logan knew how some of his fellow researchers held a disdain for counseling psychology, but he had always appreciated it. What was all their research for, after all? He admired counselors, as their job required a certain amount of emotional strength that he had never had. He smiled. “That’s admirable. I wouldn’t have the strength.” He wasn’t sure why he told Patton this, he knew nothing about the man, and yet he felt he trusted him.

Patton blinked. He seemed surprised. “I’m hardly a strong person, I think. I just like to help people,” he responded, blushing.

“Hm. Still admirable,” Logan stated, curiously analyzing the man in front of him. “Where did you go to school?”

“University of Central Florida. You?”

“That is where I attended as well! Class of 2010?”

“Well, 2009, but that’s so weird we didn’t have any classes together if we were both psychology majors!”

“That is interesting, but admittedly, I didn’t pick up psychology as my second major until late in my sophomore year, so I shared most of my classes with younger peers.”

“Oh! What was your first major? And what made you interested in psychology?”

“Chemistry. I took a cognitive psychology class as a non-major science course, and found myself much more interested, but by then I was nearly done with my chemistry major requirements, so I kept it and simply added psychology.”

“Oh that’s so cool! I’m not really sure what drew me to psychology, I just thought it would be the best use of my abilities.”

“Do you work with adults or children?” Logan asked curiously.

“I work with teenagers. I think of them as my kiddos, which I know isn’t healthy, but I honestly can’t help it. I keep in touch with a lot of my former patients, and it’s really nice to be able to know how much of an impact you’ve made in such a sensitive part of someone’s life.”

“I can see how that would be fulfilling,” Logan mused.

They continued talking enthusiastically, and after a while, the barista approached them to let them know they were closing soon. Logan blinked, not having noticed how dark the windows had gotten. “Oh dear, I left my car on campus,” he stood up.

Patton stood with him, gathering his laptop bag and books, “I have my car here. Let me drive you to yours.”

“I appreciate the offer, but it’s nothing more than a short walk.”

Patton hesitated, chewing his lip. He gave a small smile, “I don’t like letting anyone walk in the dark by themselves.”

Logan went on night walks on his own frequently, but he didn’t want to worry Patton, so he agreed to be driven to his car.

“Do you often work at that coffee shop?” he asked as Patton started the car.

“Oh yeah, I go there everyday after work to write. I’ve never seen you there before, though.”

Logan sighed, “I’ve been feeling cramped in my office lately, so I decided a change of scenery would do me good. I think I’ll start working there more often.”

Patton grinned. “Yay! Maybe we’ll see more of each other!” he exclaimed as they pulled up beside Logan’s car.

Logan returned the smile. “Maybe.”

******************

Logan sat down across from Patton at their usual table. After their initial encounter, they had spent more time together in the little coffee shop. Logan had even gone so far as to tell his students that his office hours would be held there. He rarely had students come by for help, however, and when he did, Patton did not mind in the slightest. “Apologies for my tardiness, Patton. I stayed late after class answering some students’ questions.”

“Don’t you worry about it!” Patton responded with his usual cheeriness.

“Oh! I should mention, I’m helping a chemical engineering student with his capstone thesis. I may be a psychology professor, but I do still keep up with the research in the chemistry field, so I’ve been helping him find resources and set up his project. He’ll be dropping by to discuss some sources with me. It shouldn’t take too long, but I’d love for you to meet him. I think you’d find you have a lot in common.”

“Can’t wait! I love meeting people!” Patton beamed.

About an hour later, a young man with sweeping brown hair, warm brown eyes, and an infectious smile sat down beside Logan. “Good afternoon, Thomas. This is Dr. Croí, a good friend of mine, and a counseling psychologist. Patton, this is Thomas Sanders.”

“It’s nice to meet you Dr. Croí!” Thomas beamed, holding out his hand.

Patton shook it enthusiastically. “Wonderful to meet you too, kiddo! What’s your thesis about, if you don’t mind my asking?”

“I’m looking into how to reduce waste from plants, so that they’re less harmful to the environment,” Thomas explained.

“That sounds wonderful! I wish I could help, but this is not exactly my area of expertise, so I’ll leave you two to it!”

Logan turned to Thomas to discuss the sources he had gathered for himself. Once they had finished, Thomas took his leave, thanking Patton once again.

Logan turned to Patton, “I’m sure you two will have more opportunity to talk in the future. He shares your love of puppies and he has a deeply caring heart.”

Patton beamed at him, “He seemed like a real sweetheart.” He fell silent, then opened his mouth, seemingly to say something else, when his phone rang. He looked at the ID and frowned (an odd look on Patton). “Excuse me, Logan, I’ll be right back.”

“Of course,” said Logan.

Patton returned shortly, beginning to gather his items. “Leaving so soon?” Logan asked, masking his disappointment.

“I have to go home and help my little brother with something,” Patton stated.

Logan took in the worried look on his face. “Is everything alright?”

Patton paused and took a breath, “Yeah, it’ll be ok. He’s...having an anxiety attack, I need to…”

“Of course. Go help your brother, we can always talk on the phone later.”

Patton smiled gratefully, “You’re amazing, Logan.” He turned to go, before turning back quickly, “Hey, real quick, before I go. Tomorrow’s Saturday, so I was wondering if you would like to go to...dinner...with me?” Patton chewed his lip nervously.

Logan looked at him curiously, not quite understanding. Then it clicked. “Oh! Are you asking me on a date?”

Patton shuffled his feet, blushing furiously. “Yes. But if you’re uncomfortable with that, it can just be a dinner amongst friends!” he added quickly.

Logan thought for a moment, making sure his schedule was clear for the next day, even as his instincts screamed that he was a fool for giving into the feelings he’d been trying to push down. He smiled, “I’d love to go on a date with you, Patton. Shall I come pick you up?”

Patton breathed a sigh of relief, before beaming brightly. “Sounds good to me. But I’m picking the place. And paying.” He winked, running out before Logan could protest.

Logan chuckled to himself, then sat back. He had a date tomorrow...it would be his first in a long while.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton and Logan have their first date!

Logan had straightened his tie about twenty times before finally knocking on Patton’s apartment door.

A young man opened the door, perhaps 4-5 years younger than him, which would place him at about 23-24. He had black hair, that was probably dyed, and the same light brown eyes Patton had, but his were more tired, more...dark.

Logan gave a tiny smile, “Hello. You must be Virgil, Patton’s brother?”

Virgil did not move. His face did not even twitch. “Must I?”

Logan held his stare. “Well, he has not informed me of anyone else living with the two of you, and I would assume if you were a friend of Virgil’s, you would be far less...uninviting.”

Virgil blinked, and the corner of his mouth seemed to quirk up for a moment. He stepped aside, stating “You’re early. Patton’s still in the shower.”

Logan nodded as he entered. “I like to be punctual,” he said simply, not wanting to admit that he’d finished getting ready nearly two hours earlier, and if he had waited any longer, may have driven himself insane.

Virgil walked away, leaving Logan to close the door behind himself. “Sit wherever you want. There’re snacks and juice and stuff in the kitchen. If you want anything, grab it. I’ll be in my room.” With that, he closed his door.

Logan took a seat on one of the couches in the living room with a sigh. He was nervous, far more than he reasonably felt the need to be. It was just Patton, he was already quite comfortable with Patton, the two had interacted on several occasions before. This would be no different. It would just be in a restaurant instead of a coffee shop. Right?

Logan had to admit, he’d never been drawn towards long-term relationships. Almost all of his life, he had been satisfied with one-night stands, or friends-with-benefits situations. They were much simpler, and he had never had to deal with...feelings. The bane of his existence. He hated them, the confusion they brought him, but he gave in to them regardless. He had only been in an emotionally invested relationship once before, with someone a couple of years younger than him. It had not ended well, and perhaps that was why he was feeling a little more apprehensive than average.

He heard a door open, presumably the bathroom, and light-hearted music filled the apartment, accompanied by humming and whistling from Patton. The humming abruptly stopped for Patton to yell, “Virgil! Logan should be here any minute! Do you need anything before I go?”

There was some muffled speaking from behind Virgil’s door. “What was that, Virge?”

Logan heard Virgil’s door opening, “I said nah, I’m good, and Logan’s already here.”

“What?!” Logan jumped slightly at Patton’s shrill tone. Then, more hushed, “And you didn’t think to tell me before I walked into the hallway in a towel?” Some hurried steps and a door closing, while Virgil chuckled and said, “Sorry, Pat,” while closing his own door.

Logan sat awkwardly as he waited, smiling when Patton rushed out with an apologetic look. “Hey, Logan, sorry to keep you waiting. Virgil doesn’t tend to be polite to new people.”

Logan recalled how Virgil had seemed to study him like a specimen, taking in every new piece of information that he could about the man that was going on a date with his brother. “Yes, he seemed...Virgil-ant…” Logan winced, immediately regretting his effort at the dad jokes that Patton loved (and was so much better at). However, Patton laughed outright, “Aww you made a dad joke!”

Logan smiled. “Attempted to…” he corrected.

Patton shook his head. “A for effort!” he proclaimed, still giggling, and led the way out the door.

Logan walked toward his car, but Patton grabbed his arm, “Nope! It’s a lovely night, we’re walking.” Logan stopped himself from pointing out that it was almost below 40℉. He didn’t mind the cold much anyway, and walking would give them more time.

As they made their way to...wherever Patton had in mind, they talked about their week, exchanging stories.

“I told my students to rap battle for extra credit this week.”

Patton squealed delightedly, “Oooh!! What happened?”

“They said they’d do it, only if it was against me.” Logan grinned. “They all lost.”

Patton laughed. “I wish I’d been able to see that!”

“Oh, many of them were recording, I’m sure I could find you some footage,” Logan smirked.

They continued walking, and after about 20 minutes, Logan asked, “Patton, where are we going?”

Patton grinned and said nothing, simply grabbing Logan’s hand and pulling him along faster. Logan caught sight of a large Ferris wheel in the distance, and understanding dawned on him. “Are we going to the county fair?”

“Yep!” Patton chirped, then followed, “Is that ok? We can always do something else.”

Logan smiled, nostalgia filling his head, “This is amazing! I haven’t been since I was a kid. I suppose it will have changed quite a bit.”

Patton beamed, “Actually it’s pretty much the same as when I went as a kid, too. What do you want to do first?”

“It would make sense to do the arcade games and food last to prevent being too quickly fatig--”

“Lo,” Patton interrupted gently, and Logan blinked in surprise at the novel nickname, “You’re overthinking this. You don’t need to plan out every second carefully. There’s the Ferris wheel, booth games, a gravitron, every fried food under the sun, a swinging claw ride, anything you want! What sounds fun?”

Logan thought for a moment, and never having been one for intense rides responded, “Ok, let’s do the booth games.”

They started forward, Patton eagerly promising to win Logan every stuffed animal in the fair. Logan, being highly coordinated, had always been good at booth games at fairs, and managed to win Patton a giant stuffed dog. Patton did not do very well at the games, but Logan loved watching him have fun with them. He managed to win Logan a tiny unicorn. Looking sheepish, he giggled, “Sorry I didn’t win you anything big, Logan.”

Logan shook his head and smiled, “The experience was much more fulfilling than any prize. Besides, I’ve always been a more subtle person. Small things like this are much more to my liking.”

Patton grinned at him. “What are you gonna name it?”

“Oh, uh...I wasn’t really thinking about naming it,” Logan replied.

Patton thought for a minute, then said, “How about ‘Uni-ce’? Like ‘unicorn’!”

Logan chuckled, “Alright then, Unice it is. And what are you going to name your stuffed dog?”

“Barker.” Logan offered to hold Barker for Patton so he wouldn’t have to carry him around, but Patton refused to let go of him. “Nope! I love him, he stays with me.”

“Ok. What should we do next?”

“Ferris wheel!” Patton exclaimed, already running towards the ride (at least as much as he could while holding a giant stuffed dog). Logan followed, trying to keep up. They arrived at the Ferris wheel, and Patton handed the dog to one of the attendants, watching vigilantly as the woman carefully placed Barker in a bin, before climbing into one of the compartments, with Logan close behind.

As the ride moved slowly towards its peak, the little space between them disappeared, as Logan put his arm around Patton, and Patton snuggled into him.

“Would it be too much of a cliché to kiss you when we get to the top?” he questioned jokingly. 

Patton sat up to look at him and smirked. “You could just kiss me now and it wouldn’t be a cliché.”

“I’m not sure that’s how that wor--” he was cut off as Patton’s lips met his. His breath hitched as he felt Patton giggle against him, but quickly regained control of himself as he kissed him back. He instinctively moved his hand to the other man’s back, his fingers brushing the fabric of Patton’s shirt lightly. He felt Patton’s hand cup his face and leaned into the touch.

They broke apart just as they reached the top, where the ride stopped for a minute to let them enjoy the view. Logan found himself breathing hard, gazing at Patton, who let a conflicted look flash across his face before he smiled and turned to look out over the city in the distance. Logan wondered if he had imagined that pained look. He hoped he had. “Isn’t it amazing, Logan?”

Logan turned away from Patton to take in the twinkling city lights. They were hardly wondrous, but Patton seemed enraptured. Logan resolved to one day take him to see the stars in all their non-light-polluted splendor. “It is,” he said simply, not wanting to disrupt the wonder in Patton’s eyes. Patton looked at him and smiled, blushing a little, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek.

Once they got off the ride, Patton asked, “Are you having fun, Logan?”

“Yes, I would say I am.”

“Then how about some fun-nel cake before we go?” Patton gave a goofy grin.

“It’s not exactly healthy…”

“Aw c’mon Lo, life is short, might as well make it short and fantastic!”

Logan gave in, “...I think you mean funnel-tastic.” Patton gave an excited giggle of victory and they feasted on an utterly greasy, powdery, chocolatey mess of a funnel cake (with strawberries and whipped cream for Logan), before making their way back to Patton’s apartment.

Reaching the door, they fell silent for a few moments, then Logan spoke, “Patton, I should tell you something.” Patton looked at him expectantly. Logan nearly lost himself in his trusting gaze, but cleared his throat and continued, “It’s been...some time since I’ve been in a committed relationship, and I’ve only been in one before. Before you decide if you would like to continue on this journey with me, I just think you should know about my...emotional inexperience, so to speak.”

Patton smiled warmly, and said softly, “I’m a patient person. I’d be happy to teach you everything, if you’ll let me.”

Logan breathed out a sigh of relief, “That would be lovely. I’m very grateful.”

Patton perked up, a twinkle in his eye. “Hey there, very grateful…” Logan gave an exaggerated groan. “I’m Patton!”

Despite himself, Logan couldn’t help but laugh at Patton’s ridiculousness. He brought his hand to the other man’s cheek. “May I kiss you goodnight?”

Patton smiled softly in anticipation, “You may.”

Logan leaned forward, connecting their lips smoothly. He hesitantly inched his tongue forward, whispering for permission against Patton’s lips, which opened without hesitation.

Logan wasn’t sure how long he and Patton kissed, but when he pulled away, Patton was breathless and his lips were red.

“Goodnight,” he whispered, “Thank you for a lovely date.” Patton smiled and closed the door.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> >.>  
> slight angst  
> lotsa smut  
> suicide mention

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So this part is gonna get a little explicit, not gonna lie, so fair warning. This is the only part like this tho, I promise. Credit to my good friend, John for writing this part, because gods know I'm shit at writing smut. Enjoy his handiwork and the extreme fluff that follows in the next few chapters.  
> Thanks!  
> Reyna

Logan knocked eagerly on Patton’s door. They had been dating a few months now, still maintaining their daily coffee shop ritual, along with some cooking dates, some fancy restaurants, etc. There was one thing they hadn’t yet done, however, and Logan found himself unable to stop thinking about Patton’s sweet lips on his, and imagining them exploring...other areas. They had planned a cooking date for this weekend, and Logan knew that Virgil happened to be on a trip with a friend…

The door opened, and before Logan could say a word, he had been dragged inside and pushed back against the slamming door behind him, Patton hungry for him. He moaned and responded with eagerness, grabbing Patton’s shoulders and quickly dominating, pressing him back against the closest wall.

Their hips rubbed together rhythmically as they slowly began stepping towards the bedroom, not once stopping their other activities. Logan pushed Patton onto the bed, and began kissing his neck, not realizing the other had slowed and become hesitant in his movements.

“Logan,” he whispered, stroking his hair. Logan took every ounce of self-control he had to stop. He prided himself on respecting his partner’s wishes in bed. He looked up into Patton’s light brown eyes, which shimmered with tears.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” he asked, sitting back, suddenly concerned, wiping away a tear that had trickled down Patton’s cheek.

“I just…” Patton took a deep breath. “I need to tell you something.” Logan waited patiently, giving Patton time to find his own words. “I haven’t done this...in a while.”

Logan let out a sigh of relief, “Is that all? That’s not something you have to worry about with me.”

“N-no, wait, th-there’s more. I haven’t done this in...th-three years. Because my last boyfriend died of s-s-suicide.” The tears were spilling freely now. He took another shaky breath. “I-I blamed myself for it p-partly, because you know me by now, I thought I may have smothered him, m-may have tried too hard to help him. And for the longest time...I didn’t trust myself to c-come near anyone else, and then I…” He let out a sob, and choked trying to keep another one in. “I met y-you, and I feel better than I have in three years, and I th-thought I was ready for this tonight, but it j-just all hit m-me again.”

He finally stopped staring at the blanket underneath him to look Logan in the eyes. Logan had never been one to know what to say, so he pulled Patton to his chest and held him tight. He marveled once again at his boyfriend’s emotional strength. How was it possible to continue helping others fighting the same battle that his past boyfriend lost, while carrying all this guilt within himself? “Patton...whatever happened with your last boyfriend, don’t ever feel guilty about caring too much. You know depression is a vastly complex phenomena that so many things contribute to. It is never just one thing, and it is not your fault that it happened. Your caring for others is what has saved so, so many lives. I’ve met some of your former patients. Whenever you went to the bathroom or left us alone, you know what they’d say to me?” Patton hummed against his chest, sniffing. “They all said something along the lines of, ‘You need to take care of him and treat him well, because that man saved my life, and he deserves the best in this world.’ I’ll be honest, I felt a little intimidated by that, because I thought, ‘How could I, someone so painfully emotionally inept, possibly be good enough for someone so selfless, so compassionate, so giving to others?’” He kissed the top of his head gently, and continued, “We don’t have to do this tonight, Pat. I want you to feel as good as I’ve felt with you these last few months, and I’ll wait as long as you need to make sure that is a reality, because I…” he hesitated, thinking about the words he was about to say, “I love you, Patton, and trust me when I tell you that I have never said those words lightly.”

He fell silent, and Patton seemed to grip him tighter. They sat like that for a while, Logan cradling Patton in his arms, and once he seemed to have stopped crying, Logan asked, “Why don’t we go make some food? That always helps stabilize mood.”

Patton smiled up at him tearily, replying, “Food makes everything better.”

Logan returned the smile. “That it does.”

They separated and moved toward the door but Patton grabbed Logan’s arm. “Lo? I love you too.” Logan smiled knowingly and kissed Patton softly before leading the way to the kitchen.

They decided to make a lasagna and Patton insisted they make the noodles themselves. This ended in horribly misshapen lasagna noodles, and flour all over the kitchen and themselves. Regardless, it was delicious, and Patton was laughing again. They baked some brownies for dessert, and soon the apartment was filled with a warm chocolate smell.

Afterward they cuddled on the bed, Logan holding Patton to his chest, kissing the top of his head every few minutes. Patton let out a contented sigh, and they both quickly fell asleep.

Logan woke some hours later to Patton kissing his neck softly. He smiled softly. “Patton? What are you doing?” he asked, knowing full well what Patton was doing.

Patton giggled against his neck, causing Logan to release a slight moan. He took a deep breath. “How much wine did you drink?” he teased.

Patton moved back, pouting at the insinuation. “Only one glass!” He grew serious again, “No, I was just thinking about everything, and I’m ready.”

Logan laid back, looking up at him carefully. “Are you sure? I don’t you to feel uncomfortable doing something you don’t want to yet.”

Patton leaned over him, placing a long kiss on his lips. Pulling away, he looked Logan in the eyes, whispering, “I’m sure.”

Logan leaned up, catching Patton’s lips once more, then turned them over so that he was lying over Patton. Brushing Patton’s hair out of his eyes, he whispered, “We’ll go slow this time.”

Patton nodded slightly and then sighed as Logan’s lips captured his once more. They made out for a long while, tongues rolling together, not heatedly, but passionately. Unrushed, unworried, both knowing the other wasn’t going anywhere. Finally, Logan pulled back and carefully unbuttoned the shirt Patton had fallen asleep in, trailing kisses down his chest with every button. He slipped the shirt off of Patton’s shoulders and kissed his neck and collarbone, making Patton arch his back and his breath hitch. 

Logan slowly kissed down Patton’s abdomen again, until he reached his belt. Logan deftly undid the clasp and slowly slipped off Patton’s jeans, dropping them off to the side of the bed. Pausing for a minute to undress himself as well, he kissed Patton again, rubbing his leg rhythmically against Patton’s crotch. Patton moaned loudly against his mouth, and Logan moved faster in response. Logan felt Patton’s cock harden and groaned as he ground his own cock into Patton’s outstretched leg.

Logan slipped his hand under Patton’s boxers to grasp his throbbing cock. Tugging down his underwear entirely, Logan slid down Patton’s body until he was eye level with his cock. Logan tentatively reached out his tongue and flicked the tip of Patton’s cock eliciting a gasp from Patton. Logan felt a hand on the back of his head and instantly enveloped Patton’s cock, not wanting to waste any time. Patton began to arch his back and moan while Logan's tongue ran down him maddeningly. After what felt like not enough time to Patton, Logan moved off of his cock, not wanting to work him up too quickly.

Patton reached over to his nightstand and quickly grabbed a bottle of lube in the top drawer, handing it to Logan. Logan took it, and poured some of the cold liquid onto his fingers, rubbing them together to warm them up. Slowly, he inserted one into Patton’s hole, sliding his finger in and out slowly as Patton breathed deeply, adjusting to the feeling.

After a few minutes, he nodded at Logan, who added another finger, scissoring them slowly as he did so. Soon, Logan had three fingers inside Patton, and after a minute removed them to cover his cock in the cold liquid. Logan looked at Patton for final confirmation. At Patton’s nod, he quickly entered Patton, moaning softly, thrusting erratically as he tried to set up a rhythm.

“C-can you s-slow down a little?” Patton whimpered quietly. Logan complied silently.

Patton gasped as Logan hit a sensitive spot. Smiling, Logan readjusted and continued, grunting as he hit the bundle of nerves again and again until Patton was screaming Logan’s name loudly. Soon enough, he unintentionally caused Patton to cum untouched (most likely because it had been so long for him, Logan thought). Logan pulled out, finishing by jerking himself off until he came on Patton’s stomach with a final drawn out but quiet moan. Logan had never been very loud in bed.

He collapsed next to Patton (who had fallen asleep once more), spent, but knowing they needed to get cleaned up. He kissed Patton’s shoulder, gently shaking his lover, until the other groaned at being woken again. He chuckled lightly, whispering, “We gotta get washed off, Pat.”

Patton sighed, but moved towards the bathroom anyway, with Logan close behind. They both stepped under the hot water together, holding each other in silence. Logan washed both of them off quickly and then gently moved Patton to step out of the shower before he could fall asleep again. He quickly dried them both off so they could go back to bed but Patton, half-asleep, collapsed into Logan still wrapped in his towel. Logan smiled slightly and picked his lover up bridal style, and carried him over to the bed, slipping Patton under the covers, hanging up the towels, then sliding under the sheets behind him, their bodies molding together once more.

Finally settling into bed again, Logan hugged Patton to his chest. Patton almost immediately fell asleep, but just before he did, mumbled, “Lo?” Logan hummed in response. “Thank you.” He simply smiled, kissing Patton goodnight in response.


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of Virgil and Logan bonding :3 slight angst (suicide mention)

Logan woke up in the middle of the night. He wasn’t sure why until he heard shuffling, and realized Patton was no longer beside him.

In the several months since their first night together, Logan had spent more and more nights at Patton’s apartment, to the point that he was rarely in his own. Patton had been to his apartment before, of course, but Logan far preferred Patton’s. His own was much more sparsely decorated, and he felt Patton’s was homelier. Besides, he knew that Patton did not like to leave Virgil alone very often.

Logan glanced at the clock beside him, reading the bright red 3:00. “Patton?” he asked groggily.

The shuffling stopped, and he felt the bed depress a little as Patton sat on the edge beside him. Logan blinked several times, reaching for his glasses. “Sorry to wake you, Logan. One of my patients is in crisis, I need to go help her. I don’t know when I’ll be back, so you don’t have to wait up for me. If I’m not back by 8, I’ll try to call, but you know how to make breakfast yourself.”

Logan murmured an “Ok,” as Patton hurried out the door. He tried to go back to sleep, but found that he couldn’t, so he got up to make himself a coffee. He’d just read a book until Patton got back.

As he headed towards the kitchen, he heard something coming Virgil’s bedroom. Was he awake too at this hour? Inching closer to the door, the sound became clearer, like hurried breathing.

Logan realized that Virgil was hyperventilating. He must be having an anxiety attack. He wondered if he should wait for Patton to return, but remembered that Patton may be gone for hours, so he knocked on the door.

“Go away, Patton!” he heard.

Opening the door slightly, he said, “Not Patton.” He heard more sniffling, then silence. He leaned forward, knocking again as he opened the door a little more, saying as he did so, “Virgil, I’m coming in.”

Virgil sat on the floor, his dark eyeshadow smudged beneath his puffy red eyes. “I’m fine,” he whispered, in the midst of his shallow breathing.

Logan blinked, “Forgive me for saying, but it doesn’t sound like it.”

Virgil wouldn’t look at him. “I’m fine,” he repeated insistently.

Logan stood hesitantly. He had no idea what to do. He had been present once when Patton had helped Virgil with an attack, but Patton was trained for this. He was not. He stared at Virgil for a moment, before leaving his room. Moving quickly, he gathered a blanket off the couch, along with some snacks he knew Virgil liked, and a tall glass of water. Arms full, he returned to Virgil’s room as fast as he could, sitting beside him. He carefully placed the items on the floor, as Virgil watched him in annoyance, but made no sign that he wanted Logan to leave.

Logan draped the blanket over Virgil, who was still hyperventilating, and said quietly, “You need to even your breathing.”

Virgil just looked at him blankly. Logan held up for fingers. “Breathe in for four seconds,” he instructed. It took a few tries, but Virgil managed to hold a four-second inhale. “That’s good, now hold it for seven seconds.” Once again, it took Virgil a few tries to stop his breath from running away from him, but once he had, Logan continued, “Now exhale, for eight seconds.”

Logan had Virgil repeat this a few times until his breathing had steadied, then he handed him the glass of water. “You need to stay hydrated,” he stated.

Virgil took the glass, and drank it slowly. Logan offered the snacks, but Virgil shook his head. “Not hungry,” he mumbled.

“If you want to talk about it, I’ll listen, but I won’t force you to tell me anything,” Logan assured him. Silence. “Why don’t we watch a movie until Patton gets back? I somehow doubt either of us will be sleeping anymore tonight, and it might help to distract you for a little bit.”

Logan got up and walked towards the door. Virgil didn’t move for a minute, but sighed and followed Logan when he stopped and waited in the doorway. As Logan put on a movie, Virgil asked, “Where is Patton? It’s 3:30.”

Logan grunted as he got up again to move back to one of the couches. “Had to go help a patient,” he responded.

They began watching the movie in silence, only making a sound to let out a small laugh or snort of derision at typical character stupidity. Eventually, Virgil said something. “Logan?” Logan hummed in response, glancing at Virgil. “I’m glad you’re dating my brother.” Logan turned to face him fully. “You make him happy, and he hasn’t been in a long time, but he deserves to be. He...he basically raised me. Our parents were never very present, and Patton...Patton did everything. He cooked for us, he cleaned. He taught me how to cook, how to take care of myself. He’s helped me through my anxiety.”

Logan considered this. “I suppose he’s the reason you started publishing your poetry as well?” he mused. Virgil was actually quite the accomplished poet. His two poetry books had received some small awards, and had gained some local popularity in the last year.

Virgil hesitated. “Actually, that was you.”

Logan blinked, slightly taken aback. “Me? I’ve only known you about a year and a half.”

Virgil looked at his hands. “Yeah, but when you read the poem I wrote Patton for his birthday, you made a comment about how good it was and how similar the style was to some of your favorite poets. You probably don’t even remember that, but that was when I started considering publishing my work, and you were the one who helped me with that process since you’ve published a book before.”

Logan did not know what to say. He had never realized he could inspire someone in the way he knew Patton could. “I’m glad I could help, Virgil.” They both gave each other small smiles of mutual respect and understanding.

They eased back into silence once more. Once the movie finished, they remained in their spots, when Virgil suddenly asked, “Do you think Patton would be ok if I left?” Logan looked at him in surprise. “Do you mean moving out?” There were a million different ways to define one “leaving”.

Virgil chewed his lip, digging his nails into his palms a little. “I’ve saved up for a while, I’ve been wanting to travel.”

Logan regarded the younger man. Virgil’s anxiety had significantly lessened in the last year and a half, and he was now perfectly capable of working through anxiety attacks on his own (though Logan and Patton never left him alone during an attack if they could help it). “Patton might worry about you, but I think he’ll be ok if you periodically check in with him. And be sure to visit, of course.”

Virgil visibly relaxed. “I’d make sure to call at least twice a week. And of course I’d visit in between trips. You can’t get rid of me that easily.” He grinned. “Patton’s not used to being alone. He likes taking care of people. He may need some company.” He gave Logan a sideways glance.

“Actually we were going to talk to you about my moving in, anyway, so this timing works well.” Logan replied. Virgil’s eyes widened for a moment, caught off guard, but he seemed largely unsurprised by this news.

Logan carefully continued, “I hope you’ll wait until after the wedding to start your travels, though?”

At this, Virgil did seem surprised. He stared at Logan open-mouthed, at a loss for words. Finally, he managed to gather himself enough to speak, “What?!”

“Ssshhh,” Logan shushed him, a smirk playing at his lips, and a twinkle in his eye. “I haven’t done anything yet, I’ve barely started planning. I’m thinking of proposing to Patton sometime in the next few months.”

Once Virgil got past his initial shock, he rapidly asked, “How are you going to do it? When? Where? Ring? Details!”

“Wait, I haven’t planned anything yet, I wanted to get your blessing first,” Logan replied patiently, “He is your brother, after all.”

Virgil stared at him. “Did you think I wouldn’t give it to you?”

Logan adjusted his glasses. “No, but I like to have one step taken care of before moving on to the next one.”

Virgil threw his hands up, “Yes, you have my blessing. Now, plan.”

Logan gave a small smile. “I was thinking I’d take him camping. I would like to show him the stars.”

“That’ll work.”

Before they could continue discussing it, Patton opened the door. He barely glanced at them, not saying a word as he headed into the kitchen.

Logan immediately followed carefully. The clock above the stove read 7:00 in bright green numbers.

Patton began dragging out plates and ingredients with jerky movements. After nearly dropping the eggs, he paused, gripping the counter tightly.

Logan watched him, now with concern. He opened his mouth to say something, when Virgil, who had appeared silently behind him, spoke, making him jump slightly. “Patton, what’s wrong?”

Without turning around, he said with his usual cheerful tone, “Just making breakfast, kiddo. Why don’t you go wait in your room? I’ll call you when it’s ready.” Logan and Virgil shared a concerned look, having heard the barely contained tremble in Patton’s voice.

Virgil reacted quicker, “Are you--”

He was immediately cut off by Patton’s suddenly deadpan voice, “Go. I’ll call you in a bit.”

Logan looked at Virgil, who was chewing his nails anxiously now. His eyes had gone wide. He nudged him out of the kitchen, wordlessly assuring him he’d take care of Patton.

Turning back towards his boyfriend, who was still frozen clutching the counter, he asked softly, “Patton, are you alright?”

Patton remained silent for a moment, fixing his gaze to the wall. When he finally started moving again with a sharp breath, he replied, “Have you been awake since I left? You should take a nap, Lo. I’ll make you coffee.”

“Patton.” Patton did not stop moving nor did he respond. “You don’t have to be strong for everyone all the time.” Logan put his hand on Patton’s shoulder, and Patton stiffened at the touch, as though he would break if Logan took his hand away.

“Come here,” Logan whispered, pulling Patton to his chest with little resistance. Logan expected him to cry, but he just stood against him, drained and emotionless, which unsettled Logan.

Logan said nothing as he held Patton to him, knowing Patton would open up when he was ready to. He felt a wetness on his shoulder, and saw that Patton was crying numbly, letting the tears soak into Logan’s shirt. Logan squeezed him even tighter, kissing the top of his head gently.

Eventually, Patton found his voice again. “Logan...she’s gone.”

Logan was momentarily confused before realizing that Patton was probably talking about the patient he went to go help. “The patient that called you this morning?”

Patton shook his head into Logan’s chest. He took a shaky breath, before rushing out, “Her parents called me. She wasn’t in her bedroom. I went to their house, and I knew there were a few places we could look, so we’d have to split up, and I…” He fell silent as if gathering his thoughts. “I found her...at a bridge she and her best friend used to hang out at when she was little.” He took another steadying breath. “When I got there, she said ‘I know you’ll try to talk me out of this, so I’m not gonna let you talk. But you have to understand, this isn’t your fault. I was way past help coming to you, and honestly you were a last resort. But...you made the most difference.’” Patton let out a choked sob, and Logan rubbed his arm. “She jumped before I could say anything or react. I tried to catch her Logan, I really did, I don’t think I’ve ever moved so fast in my life. It wasn’t that high, it shouldn’t have even hurt her, but when we found her later...she had hit her head on a rock.” Patton was gasping for breath now, and Logan stood, holding and rocking Patton, not noticing the tears falling out of his own eyes, into Patton’s hair.

“Her parents, Logan, the way they looked at me. I was their last hope, I was supposed to be the one to make her better.” At this, Patton deflated, breathing in tiny, tired gasps.

Logan held him like he was scared Patton would float away if he let go. “Patton,” he whispered. “You are not to blame here. You know that. You know that it is not your job to save people, it is to help them save themselves, and sometimes...sometimes they just choose not to.” He knew, of course, that this was only hitting Patton especially hard because of his past experience, but he knew that dealing with this on its own was no easy thing. He just wished he could help Patton more than simply by analyzing the situation. “I’m so sorry, Patton.”

He slowly pulled away from Patton, kissing his forehead as he did so. He took Patton’s hand and led him to the bedroom, saying firmly, “You need to rest. Take a hot shower and a nap.” He cut Patton off as he tried to protest, “I will take care of breakfast, don’t worry. Go.” He gave him a gentle shove and turned away with finality, but Patton grabbed his hand and squeezed it quickly before disappearing into the bedroom.

Virgil, of course, had reappeared in the kitchen, cutting some apples to make a fruit salad. Logan sighed heavily and rubbed his face. Virgil stopped what he was doing and turned to face him. “You handled that really well.”

“How? I can do nothing but watch while he’s in pain, I offer nothing but useless matter-of-facts.” Logan shook his head, and reached up to grab pancake mix. He knew Patton would hardly be in the mood for his favorite kitchen-sink pancakes, but he also knew that seeing that Logan had made them would cheer him up, if only slightly.

Virgil snuck an apple, crunching it thoughtfully. “Patton is a man of emotions. It makes him compassionate, empathetic, and sensitive to others. It also makes it hard for him to see the full picture sometimes. You...you provide him with an anchor to reality. You show him what’s really there, and sometimes he may not believe you in the moment, but it makes so much difference.” He smiled sarcastically, continuing, “Excuse my inner cliché poet, but you complement each other.”

Logan gave a small smile. “I appreciate that, Virgil. I think you’re right. I have never been the most emotionally intelligent of people, and he has taught me that perspective. I hope I can help him through this.”

Virgil regarded him. “You know...the fact that he opened up to you is huge in itself. He always helps and cares for everyone around him, but he never shows when he needs that emotional support. Just talking to you helps him so much, I’ve seen it so many times over the last year and a half.”

“Thank you. Do you think he’ll be alright?” Logan could not shake his worry.

“Hey, I’m the anxious one, that’s my job,” Virgil joked lightly, before continuing more seriously, “I know my brother. He’s resilient, despite how much he bottles up and hides. Between that and us both being so worried that we probably won’t keep our eyes off him, he’ll be fine. It may take a while, but he will.”

Logan sighed. “I hope you’re right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the little touch of angst guys! Patton's "favorite kitchen-sink pancakes" are an actual recipe of my own invention, if any of you wanted to try it. Normal pancake mix, LOTS of chocolate chips, more vanilla than necessary, and just enough cinnamon to taste but not overpower everything. And finally, purple food coloring (or any food coloring, but purple's lucky and shows up best). Hope you like it :)


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just an innocent camping trip :3

“Patton!”

“I’m coming, I’m coming, don’t get your tie in a knot,” Patton called back.

Logan blinked, “That’s how ties--”

Patton appeared suddenly, cutting him off with a kiss. “It was a joke, baby. I’m almost done, let me just grab my bag.”

Logan wasn’t normally so antsy. He was, of course, a punctual person and hated being late, but he was still usually much calmer. He and Virgil had planned this for months, and despite the fact that he knew it was highly probable that Patton would say yes, he could not help but worry. He was highly on edge.

Logan attempted to soften his voice, “Sorry, I just have a lot planned.” He gave a weak smile, and Patton beamed back, kissing his cheek in understanding.

“How about you go wait in the car? I’ll be right behind you.”

Logan hesitated, but walked with a quick pace out to the car, where he had already neatly packed everything he needed for the trip (after several different attempts that had all worked almost equally well; everything about this trip had to be perfect). Patton came out a minute later, content after having bade farewell to Virgil.

“So where are we going?” he asked excitedly. Logan had simply told him they were going camping, and hadn’t given a specific place.

“We’ll be going to the Appalachian Mountains in the Carolinas. We’ve got a long drive, so I hope you’re comfortable.”

“As long as we get to do some car karaoke, I’m good!” Patton declared, promptly beginning to play a playlist Logan assumed he had compiled for the trip.

He was surprised and touched to find that all the songs were ones that had been important to them in their relationship. Songs Patton had introduced to him, some classical pieces he had introduced to Patton, ones they had discovered together. He’d never been all that into music until he’d realized that music was a way for Patton to convey his thoughts and feelings that he hid from others. After that, he memorized every word in every song Patton would show him. He found himself humming quietly along to every song, feeling the memories spark as a timeline of their relationship mapped itself through his head.

“When did you make this?” he asked quietly.

“Oh, I made it ages ago, and just added to it whenever I thought there was a song special to us.” Patton returned to singing slightly out of tune, savoring every note that coursed from the speaker. Logan sat quietly, somewhat overwhelmed. He knew that music was important to Patton. Every song he listened held some meaning for him. It astounded him that Patton didn’t just have one or two songs reminding him of Logan, but enough to put into a long playlist. Logan suddenly felt more relaxed, absorbing Patton’s voice and sensing his movements beside him.

As they continued, Logan silently reflected with each memory the songs brought him. Baking pies and cookies and other sweet goods while slightly tipsy, allowing wine to bring flush to their cheeks and let giggles fall endlessly from their lips. Logan was always on the more serious side, but Patton certainly brought out his more easygoing, relaxed side. Slow walks through the campus gardens during their lunch breaks, one earphone for each of them as they appreciated their shared presence with threaded fingers. Virgil’s surprise anniversary present to them, a scrapbook with several candid photos of them as they had been cooking or watching a movie together or from the few outings he had joined them on. As guarded as the man was, Virgil had a heart that almost rivaled his brother’s. For the first time in the last week, Logan’s built-up tension over the coming weekend melted away, as he started to project forward to the memories he hoped to continue making with Patton.

He imagined getting a house--something he’d been saving up for for years, but never having found the right person to do it with. Somewhere with a lot of outdoor space for the dog that Patton would inevitably beg for. With a nice kitchen for their continued cooking adventures (and mishaps, more often than they’d like to admit). With an extra room for Virgil when he visited from his travels. With an office he could keep his plethora of books in, where the cat he’d always wanted (hypoallergenic, for Patton’s sake) could nap amongst the sunlight and leather-bound pages, its purring calming him as he worked. With a room that could eventually be painted in light colors, filled with small toys, and a crib that he and Patton would spend far longer than necessary attempting to construct.

Logan knew that Patton would want kids at some point. Logan himself had never (before meeting Patton, that is) really contemplated that possibility. He had never considered himself a parental figure, especially if he compared himself to images of Patton teaching their child to bake, making a mess in the kitchen as they did so. He knew Patton would take them to the park every weekend, would attend every single school event, be it a science fair or a dance recital.

Of course, he would be there at the park or in the kitchen or at all the school events, as well. He wouldn’t miss those for the world, even though Patton was so much more suited to them. He’d warn of the dangers of salmonella, but smile and give in to swipe a finger across the bowl, as Patton and their child giggled at him through cake batter smothered faces. He’d show them the best angles to throw a frisbee, as Patton recorded every second. He’d help Patton remember when it was their turn to bring snacks to practice, and record for him during the shows since Patton wouldn’t be able to resist waving his arms in excitement and pride.

But he found he did not mind imagining himself teaching their child to read. Showing them how the wonders of the universe can be found in knowledge. Reading them bedtime stories every night, as Patton held them close and stroked their hair calmingly. Helping them with science projects, showing them how fun it can be to get messy when asking questions. Helping them with college applications, helping them make a career plan. Showing them all the possibilities that this vast world keeps open.

No, he didn’t think he’d mind being a father at all.

“Logan?” Logan blinked, snapped out of his reverie at the sound of his name. Patton was smiling uncertainly at him. “I called your name a couple of times, Lo, you alright there?”

Logan grinned brightly, a rarity amidst his usually softer, subtler smiles. “I feel perfect, Pat.”

Patton grinned back, asking, “Do you want me to drive for a bit? You’ve been driving for four hours.”

Logan blinked in surprise, realizing it had indeed been four hours. He nearly declined, but decided against it, knowing he’d get tired soon.

They stopped at a gas station to fill their tank and stomachs, before heading out again, this time with Patton behind the wheel, following the GPS. He continued to hum along with the playlist, which by now had looped a number of times. Logan soon drifted off, Patton’s voice gently infusing his dreams of the future.

******************

Logan let the fire dim slightly instead of adding another log. When he felt it had sufficiently shrunk, he held his hand out to Patton, who was already staring in wonder at the stars. Patton took his hand slowly, still taking in the sight of the Milky Way stretched from horizon to horizon. Logan gently pulled him to the edge of the campsite to get a less light-obstructed view.

They had arrived in the mountains the previous night, and had stayed in a hotel before hiking up the mountain the next day. Patton got excited over every squirrel and bird they saw, and Logan somehow found himself naming each creature with Patton. Realistically, he knew that they were likely seeing some of the animals more than once (and thus giving them multiple names), but he wanted Patton to enjoy himself as much as possible on this trip, so he kept that to himself.

“On our first date at the top of that Ferris wheel, I promised myself that I would take you to see the stars one day,” Logan murmured. Patton could only hum amazedly in response.

“Where are the constellations?” Patton whispered, as if afraid his voice might send a ripple across the silvery sky.

Logan smiled, and pointed to a very bright star, “That’s Sirius. It’s the brightest star in our sky, but it’s actually two stars. Over there,” he moved his hand, and Patton followed it, transfixed, “is Polaris, the north star. You can find the Big Dipper. And Ursa major and minor. Some of the zodiacs. You can even see some of the planets, look. Venus and Mars and Jupiter. Did you know Venus’ day is longer than its year?” He finally stopped rambling to look back at Patton, who had broken his upwards stare to gaze lovingly at Logan, enraptured in everything he was telling him.

Logan smiled, and Patton returned the expression, before looking back at the sky. His eyes widened, and he grabbed Logan’s arm in excitement, pointing. Logan followed his finger to see streaks of light flashing quickly across the sky. They were so delicate, he could almost convince himself they were imagined, until one flared brightly from one horizon to the other. He inhaled sharply at the sight, and heard Patton gasp in wonder next to him. “Make a wish!” Patton whispered fervently.

Logan did not really believe in such things, but he figured he needed all the help he could get, so he closed his eyes, sending a single thought spiraling upwards into the unknown. When he opened them again, he looked back at Patton and asked curiously, “What did you wish for?”

Patton grinned, “I can’t tell you, silly! Then it won’t come true!” He released a playful, bubbly laugh, and Logan couldn’t help but think, “Even after almost two years, I will never get over how beautiful that laugh is.” Patton blinked, looking taken aback, and smiled, asking almost shyly, “You like my laugh?”

Logan hadn’t realized he’d said anything out loud, but he didn’t mind. “Of course I do. It’s incredibly sweet and playful and can cheer me up on the darkest of days.” Patton blushed and gazed at him so warmly, Logan could almost feel himself melt. Patton gently kissed his cheek before turning back to the stars.

“Patton?” Logan threaded his fingers through Patton’s, stroking his thumb across them absent-mindedly. Patton hummed an indication he was listening.

Logan took a deep breath. He had spent weeks writing out a speech, crossing out words and tearing up pages and scribbling across paragraphs frustratedly. He was still unhappy with his result. Remembering Patton’s words to him on their first date, he decided to (metaphorically, of course, there were no windows out here) throw his planned speech out of the window. He prepared to speak from the heart, something he had learned to do more often, though it had taken him some time to do so.

“I used to actively avoid being in any kind of emotionally sustainable relationship.” Patton sensed the nervousness in his voice, and turned to him, a question of concern in his eyes as he waited patiently for Logan to continue. Logan surged forward, “I-I never really understood emotions, and I was easily frustrated and confused by them so I simply avoided letting them form. I suppose that was what drew me to psychology, an attempt to help myself understand what had always confused me.” He paused, realizing he was staring down at their interlocked hands, and flicked his gaze back up to meet Patton’s. “When we became friends, I did the same thing, I tried not to let myself fall for you. I truly did.” He offered a breathy laugh. “When you asked me out, every weak attempt I had at denial fell away and I accepted with barely a thought. And it was the best decision I ever made. You’ve taught me how to understand and process my emotions, you’ve helped me embrace the fun, relaxed side of myself that I so rarely let out.” Logan was beaming brightly now, and Patton looked like he was so happy, he was about to cry. “I love you so much, Patton. I love your kindness and compassion for others; I love your ability to step back and appreciate everything; I love the wonder in your eyes for everything in this world; I love your immense love for living creatures, how you named every animal we saw; I love how much you care about me and Virgil and how you always seem to know exactly what we need; I love…” He stopped, catching his breath. He was speaking completely without thought, and this was uncharted territory for him. But he pushed through that hesitation, not letting himself overthink this all too precious moment. He took another deep breath, and wiped a stray tear from Patton’s cheek as he reached into his pocket with his other hand. “Patton…” He knelt slowly onto one knee, as Patton gasped in realization and covered his mouth. Logan continued slowly, “It would make me immeasurably happy to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?”

Patton nodded enthusiastically, still unable to form words around his happy tears. He held his trembling hand out as Logan slipped the ring onto it, then kissed him with so much force, they saw stars (pun intended).

When they finally pulled away, still holding each other, Patton gasped out, “God, I love you too. So much more than you know, Lo.” Logan thought he had some idea, but smiled and allowed Patton to continue, “You help me see things realistically when I get caught up in myself. You’ve helped Virgil so much, he’s actually been able to move out on his own, and you helped him put himself out there and now his poetry’s everywhere. You’ve fought through so much inside yourself for me, and I couldn’t be more proud or grateful. It makes me so happy to see you open up to me and to watch you grow and become more comfortable with yourself, and I’m so grateful I was a part of that process--”

“You were the process,” Logan laughed.

Patton shook his head in exasperation, barely suppressing a smile. “Let me finish, you had your turn!” Humor twinkled in Logan’s eyes, but he fell silent. “You’re the first person I’ve ever been with that I could actually see a future with.” Logan blinked in surprise at this, and Patton hurriedly continued, “Yes, that’s including him.” He didn’t need to explain who he meant, and Logan suddenly felt tears teasing his eyes.

He hugged Patton to his chest tightly, and they remained standing there under the Milky Way for a while, before finally making their way back to their tent.

Logan didn’t think he’d ever fallen asleep happier.


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who wants a wedding?? :D

The next few months pass by in a blur, decisions of flowers and colors and cake and guests all dizzying Logan. He was determined that everything be perfectly coordinated and organized, and found Patton calming him down consistently. He apologized frequently, and finally relaxed his frantic control when Patton reminded him that they loved each other and would have the rest of their lives together, regardless of blue or pink flowers, regardless of almond or chocolate cake, regardless of how the guests were arranged.

He allowed himself to relinquish some control by letting Patton take charge of the guest list, and once he had done so, barely paid it any attention in the midst of the many other things. He simply gave Patton a short list of people who needed to be there, not bothering to check and make sure someone shouldn’t be there. A mistake.

******************

The big day arrived, and Virgil and Thomas (the best men) swept the grooms away to separate locations to prepare. Patton privately indicated to Virgil and Thomas that any problems on the day itself be brought to him and not Logan. If it was something unavoidable or unfixable, he’d bring it to Logan himself.

Luckily, the preparation, ceremony, and photos proceeded without any issues. Logan’s and Patton’s families got along well, no expensive clothing was destroyed, and Virgil even swept his bangs out of his eyes (for an hour during the photos). The vows brought many a tear to the eyes of the guests, and there were thankfully no (outward) homophobic expressions (most likely due to their decision to make the wedding alcohol-free.

Then came the reception.

As Logan and Patton made their rounds, accepting congratulations from their guests, Logan suddenly blanched and grabbed Patton’s arm tightly. “Excuse us for a moment, please,” Logan cut off whoever was speaking, it may have been Patton, he didn’t care.

Patton followed him to the side of the room, out of earshot of the others. “Logan, you’re scaring me, what’s wrong?” Logan realized he’d been tightening his grip around Patton’s arm, and let go immediately.

“Apologies, Patton. It’s just, someone I know is here and he’s bound to try to ruin our wedding.”

Patton gave a nervous laugh, “What are you talking about?”

Logan put his head in his hands, and whispered, “I was only ever in one other serious relationship before you, and it ended badly. He was overly dramatic and immature, easily jealous, and conflated everything, painting fantastical pictures that I could never see myself as a part of, and that he never bothered to include me in. We got into arguments constantly and eventually broke up after a particularly nasty one. I was determined to leave that in the past, so I never told you about him, and I’m sincerely sorry about that, but he’s here, and I don’t know why or how he even knew about us.”

Patton was looking at him with sympathy now. “Lo, it’s ok that you didn’t tell me, but who is he? Maybe I can figure out how he found out.”

Logan looked back up at him, “Roman. Roman Prince.”

Now it was Patton’s turn to pale. “Oh dear. He was an old friend of mine from when I was a kid. I-I didn’t know, I’m so sorry, Logan!”

Logan felt his face soften at the sight of tears in Patton’s eyes. “It’s not your fault, Patton. I should have told you. I’m the one who didn’t, and I’m the one who didn’t pay enough attention to the guest list. I don’t blame you.” Patton gave a sigh of relief. “Oh shit, he’s coming over here.” He plastered a tight smile onto his face.

“Language.” Patton hissed under his breath as he turned with a bright smile to face the approaching Roman.

“Greetings, gentlemen! I wanted to offer my congratulations on your union. I wish you a thoroughly happy life.”

Logan relaxed slightly. Perhaps Roman had matured in their time apart.

“Oh. Thank you, Roman. That’s very kind of you,” Logan responded.

Roman then winked at Patton, “Just wait a while after you guys have started having sex. The man can get spicy.”

There it was. Logan turned crimson as he suddenly wished they had allowed alcohol at the wedding. He wondered if he could sneak out of a window, but Patton took Roman’s mischief in stride, “Oh honey, I already know. Besides, I think he was more surprised by me.”

Logan squeaked, growing more flustered. Roman choked on the tea he had been sipping, and released a loud laugh. “My, you haven’t changed much since our younger days, Pat.” He turned to Logan, “Joking aside, I truly am happy for you, Logan. I’m relieved we could both move on from our rather dysfunctional relationship.”

Logan gave a small smile at the peace offering. “Have you found someone new?” he inquired curiously.

“Alas, I have not. I’ve been focusing on improving myself and working on my acting career, and actually just got offered a role on an Off-Broadway show, so I’ll be moving up north.”

Patton squealed in excitement. “Oh, that’s amazing, Roman! What show? Maybe we can take a vacation to New York and see you perfor--um. If that’s ok with Logan.”

Logan squeezed Patton’s hand in reassurance. “That sounds lovely, if you would be comfortable with that, Roman.”

“Of course! I can get you discounted tickets in good seats!” He grinned at them, and Logan’s lingering unease finally faded away, glad to see that both he and Roman could move past their previous differences.

Virgil and Thomas approached, Virgil’s newly purple bangs having fallen over his eyes again. Thomas had dyed his hair purple, and Virgil had decided he liked it and followed suit, though his hair was still a much darker shade. His makeup somehow still held strong, despite the hour, and the amount of socializing he’d been engaging in. He looked somewhat tired out.

“Well hello there, Emo Nightmare,” Roman quipped.

Virgil growled in response, “Ah, the prince returns. Are we peasants not too lowly for you?”

Roman smirked, “I can make time for my subjects, Hot Topic.” He snaked an arm around Virgil’s waist and pulled him to his side.

Virgil made a huff of disapproval, but made no move to pull away. “What, you think I’m hot now?”

“Exquisite,” Roman replied smoothly. He turned to Thomas, extending his free hand, “Oh dear, I’m being rude. My name’s Roman.”

“Thomas,” he shook Roman’s hand cordially. “Are you a friend of Logan’s and Patton’s?”

“I’m...someone from their pasts.” He was reluctant to explain further. “We all went our separate ways. I’m a theater performer now.”

“Oh that’s so cool! I’ve always loved theater, I do some acting myself.”

“Brilliant! Perhaps we could discuss some strategies and rehearse lines some time. For now, though, may I have this dance?” he asked, facing Virgil again.

Even underneath Virgil’s pale foundation, a deep blush could be seen crawling across his cheeks. “E-excuse me?” he nearly squeaked.

Roman extricated his arm from around Virgil and grabbed his hand, pulling him towards the dance floor, “I want to dance with you.”

Virgil turned back towards them as he was being dragged away, mouthing “Help!” as Patton and Thomas giggled helplessly, and Logan blinked rapidly, trying to process the surprising speed of that turn of events.

Logan finally shook his head, and guided Patton towards the dance floor as Thomas moved to converse with some of his peers that had been invited to the wedding. Logan wondered if it was a bad sign that most of his social circle consisted of his students and mentees. But that was a question for another time, he thought, as he placed his hands around Patton’s waist.

They swayed in time to the music, and even though they’d already had their first dance, the floor gradually cleared around them, though they barely noticed, unable to tear their smiles and disbelieving eyes away from each other.

“Hey, Lo?” Patton whispered.

“Hm?”

“We’re married,” he giggled lightly, and Logan felt his heart skip.

“Astute observation.”

“Oh, shut up,” Patton joked. They danced a little more in silence, absorbing each other’s presence. “What’s gonna happen now?”

Logan pondered this for a moment. “Well, Virgil will likely begin his travels soon.”

Patton laughed, “Unless he runs away to New York with our old friend instead, that is.” Logan gave him a puzzled look. “Virgil and Roman have had some unresolved...tension since we were kids. I get the feeling it will get resolved tonight.”

Logan suddenly understood, and laughed with Patton in surprise. When they had calmed, Logan continued, “We’ll go on our honeymoon. And when we get back...sky’s the limit. We can get a house...maybe a dog, and a cat? Hypoallergenic cat, of course. We’d have a yard where you could garden and a nice study for me. A guest room for Virgil’s visits, of course, and an extra room for...if we ever choose to expand our family.”

Patton stared at him in such wonder, Logan thought it was impossible that he was looking at him. “That sounds beautiful, honey. I just--I don’t know if I have enough money to put into a house.”

Logan ducked his head shyly. “I do...I’ve saved up since before I met you, but I never really pictured myself doing it until...Well, let’s just say I’ve been thinking about this for quite some time.” Patton kissed him suddenly and sweetly, and Logan responded instantly.

As the night drew to a close, they made their way to their hotel room for the night. Patton quickly texted Virgil (who had disappeared mysteriously after his dance with Roman) before pushing Logan onto the bed.

When Virgil finally answered, while they were taking a break, all he said was, “Gonna be a long night, but will be back before you leave for the airport.”

Patton burst out laughing. “He’s with Roman!”

Logan frowned, confused. “But he didn’t actually specify…”

“Oh, connect the dots, baby.” Patton placed his phone back on the nightstand and curled into Logan.

“Pat?”

“Yes, Lo?”

“We’re married.”

Patton laughed, “Finally sinking in, huh?” He rose slightly and kissed Logan lovingly, before laying back down against him. Instead of continuing their activities as intended, they wound up falling asleep like that, Logan absently stroking Patton’s hair and back, Patton kissing his chest softly.

Logan couldn’t wait for the rest of their story. And for once, he didn’t want any spoilers.


End file.
